Options are good, they scratch and smooth my ego until I'm purring like a contented kitten knowing that I'm loved at more than one school. I walked into this season of interviewing pretty sure I'd be a lucky girl to even get one school.
Now I have two excellent options, RVU in CO and VCOM in SC and I am wait listed everywhere else I've interviewed. That means it's a good possibility they will become options later. (not sure yet at UNC) To not be turned down anywhere is a shock, I am humbled that they all see something in me they like enough to keep me around. Everyone said it would turn out this way and I always hoped everyone was right and worked my rear off like I didn't have a chance in hades. Statistically I didn't.
I still have prospects of two more interviews, Ft Lauderdale, FL, and Vallejo, CA, so it is far, far from over, just in a little lull. Even then it won't be really over until May. It's a long time to sit in limbo. Limbo is a difficult place for me, since I like to wrestle life to the ground and then reduce it to a list of steps to success. But it is in limbo I learn the most about myself and my great lack of balance. It brings out the weaknesses of my character and parades them around like lumberjacks in a ballroom. Can't miss them! :)
The odds were wretched. My statistical chance at RVU was 4.8% around the same with VCOM. I knew this before I started working toward becoming a Dr and purposefully never thought about it again. Yet odds like that are inspiring. They force me to live on the sharp edge, to drag out every reserve in my soul to do battle. While I bet my whole future, I didn't gamble that much. I know that focusing on one day at a time more can be achieved by any of us then we ever imagined we could.
It wasn't me. I learned this graphically by watching a good friend work hard for a goal they deserved. A goal they likely would have achieved but were blocked in the final stages by someone who had the power to do so, it broke my heart. I still hate it when life is unfair.
It reminded me how blessed/fortunate I've been. There were many times I was blocked from going toward my goal by circumstances. Perhaps some of you remember I lost funding after my first year back at school and it was an influential Chemistry professor that believed in my potential, my dream, who got me into a program and back on track. I can think of many other amazing people (Bobbie, Shellie, etc etc) who saw some little spark of potential in my overly excited brain and either made my path easier or passed that enthusiasm on to someone else who had never met me and in that way, made it so I could move forward.
Thus I suppose this should end as a tribute to those who helped me, the hero's of my life. They include not just the people who have straightened my difficult trail with their influence but everyone who cheers with me and groans at my super nerdy posts, Charles, family (adopted family) and (amazing) friends. It is via each of you that I get the reserve of optimism that keeps me noticing the smallest wonders, a budding tree, an odd patient, a silly caterpillar with sinusoidal legs. These things and each of you, keep me smiling and give me strength try again tomorrow.
There is some saying about it taking a village to raise a child. It is my experience that it takes one crazy village to make a doctor!
Thank you! If I had a glass of wine/sparkling peach juice (whatever your taste might be) I'd propose a toast and dedicate each success to you!
Might as well enjoy it, it's all about to get that much harder... and I can't wait...
