Friday, June 15, 2007

Persian Girls or Yelling Dads

What to write about...? And Walter you are right...all these heavy topics, what is up with that? But for some reason a lot of stuff that is making me think keeps happening. Now I have to decide what to write about...the book I read, Persian Girls, or about the outraged father this morning. I think I will go with the outraged father and talk about the book Persian Girls later. The father is much fresher and more now.

You see, we live near a tennis court. In fact it is right out our back windows and over the fence. We can watch people play or chase the ball...depending on their skill level, most of the day any day. Recently, blame it on the phase of the moon, the air quality or the level of heat there has been a lot of fighting on the courts.

There is a father, we assume, that brings his 3 little boys to teach them how to play tennis. The boys are aged from 10-7. They all, father included, have matching outfits, matching tennis raquets, matching tennis bags and for all I know matching underwear...mind you I haven't checked.

It was cute, until the father opened his mouth. The last couple of days that he has been out there with the boys he has been berating them verbally, and loudly for not "getting it". It has been slowly getting worse and worse.

Today was no exception. This morning they came and it was only the two older boys and the "dad". For awhile you heard the plunk, plunk of them playing tennis and then the father would lose it and just light into one of the little kids.

I began to be really upset with "dad". It is bad enough to have to deal with people that lose their temper at my work but to have to listen to people scream at their small boys cause they don't hit their "back handed slice" just so with their knees just so was getting old and really getting on my nerves. But what do you do? It is a public park. So I prayed as I continued to get ready for church, make up, dress, heels, hair. Charles went in to take a shower.

i came out of the bathroom in time to hear the father scream as if he had short circuited every thought in his messed up brain at his child, "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!!!!!!!" THAT WAS IT, I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER. I began to shake from the anger and the adrenaline pumping through my body. I wanted to run out and drag him off the court. He was out of control, clearly out of his mind and exploding with anger. I feared for the children.

Instead I was propelled out the door by a force inside of me and into the breeze way where I had a clear shot of the court. I didn't know what to say. I stood there so angry I could not stop shaking. I didn't have to say anything. Surprisingly, the father was walking on the court toward me and saw me standing on the breezeway. My body must have radiated how I felt because he looked at me and said, "Sorry". Out of the depths of my throat came this forceful, "THANK YOU!". It sounded as if I were speaking to a three year old and in that thankyou was wrapped a thinly veiled threat that if you dare do it again... It was surprising how I sounded. I pray to God he thinks of who he is and what he is doing to his children.

Back in the house, I paced shaking and shaking. I fell on my knees begging God to help that man learn. The one boy is already yelling at his father back, the other sits with his head on his knees. It burns me up to think of the future of those boys. In the end I spent a good deal of the time crying. Crying from frustration, helplessness, pain and fear.

Charles was kind and hugged me and I got pulled together enough to go to church. I told Charles the "father" probably doesn't have a wife any more and felt he deserved that to pay for his bad temper.

While I was at church I was talking with God and partially listening to the sermon :( But God reminded me that He does not enjoy the punishment of the wicked. That in the end He does not revel in them "getting what they earned" but it causes Him immense pain to see His children suffer. (Thank you Mom for getting this process started). Did I love that man? Would it make me sad to see him loose his wife and children? I honestly had to say no I don't care about the man and he deserved to have those things happen to him. And right then and there God reminded me that I need Him. He is the only one that will give me the heart to see the out of control abusive father as He did. As a child of God. That man a child of GOD!?!?! Yep. Does that mean that man should not be told he is wrong? Nah. Should there be no consequence for sin. Nah God doesn't even espouse that belief. But could I talk to that man and tell him he was wrong with the love of God exuding from my soul? Now there is a change of heart.

By the way, while we were there, he never yelled at his children like that again. And I thank God He had the man look at me while I stood there and I don't know what I looked like but somehow God got the message to him that what he was doing was unacceptable. But did he curse them quietly...anyone's guess.

This is another thing where I wonder what other people think. This will happen again...what would you do next time?

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